How Can Our Character 4 Help us With Sadness?

Let’s chat about our Character 2 and why this part of our brain gets upset, angry, sad, mad, glad, addicted to things, aggressive to others—and how we can not only make peace with this part of ourselves, but understand why it exists. (And how we can nurture it.)

Consider that Character 4 is pure love—it is the feeling of awe that we exist at all, and it is the deep love and soulful gratitude that we can love and be loved. Character 4 is always there, always turned on like the blue sky that is always full force behind the dark storm clouds (Character 2 emotions) or the fluffy white ones that float by (Character 1 thoughts).

We all begin at birth as the consciousness of our right brain that exists as the awe and experience of the present moment. This circuitry that processes our present moment experience does not go away over time. Instead, we retain this connection to the wonder of what is in the present moment, as we add the circuitry of our left brain skill sets and abilities.

Our left brain specifically steps out of the consciousness of the present moment by connecting the present moment with the last moment, and with the next moment. By doing so, our left brain turns us into a bridge across time—with both memory of the past and anticipation of the future. Because we can compare what is currently happening to what has already happened, we can protect ourselves from repeating past mistakes. Thank you, Characters 1 and 2.

When we are in the present moment of our right brain experience, we are in the flow of ‘what is’. By definition, we are taking things as they come and whatever is…simply is. Predictably, when we are not comparing what ‘simply is’ with something we want instead based on any preconceived notion (left brain), we cannot be disappointed. Instead, we are bound to remain in a state of blissful joy and gratitude as we accept things as they are. Adversely, we set ourselves up for disappointment or perceived failure when ‘what is’ is judged by our left brain as coming up short to our preconceived notion of what we think we want instead.

Is it really that simple?

Yes, it really is that simple, but our left brain is masterful in designing our lives and how the societal norm thinks we ‘should’ be. Just knowing that our superpower is our ability to accept things as they are (whether we like it or not) truly is the secret to finding peace. When we accept ‘what is’ our love is free to flow from our Character 4 into the present moment, and when we protest against things as they are, our ability to love becomes blocked. That feeling of being blocked feels like pure pain and our left brain wails in anger, grief, sadness, envy, etc.

My little dog Bella passed away last week, and I have been feeling intense grief and emotional pain. I have chosen to deeply explore this pain by examining it when it takes me over. I pay attention to where is it located in my body, what thoughts tend to trigger the waves, and approximately how long the wave lasts. I also pay attention to what emotions or words I feel or express. Also, do I choose to call a friend for support, or do I endure the agony on my own?

My heart is broken because my little dog is gone. She was my constant companion. When I think about this loss, I feel deep sadness and pain. I find that when I am in that state of being then I cannot feel her love for me.

I choose to dive straight into the waterfall of my agony and allow it to overcome and take me down. Although I feel exhausted and raw when I surface again, I also feel expansive and open. In that openness, I feel her presence again. Until the next wave takes me down again, shakes me up and all but drowns me.

It is in that acceptance of ‘what is’ that I can consciously remain connected to her preciousness. I truly believe that her unconditional love is both eternal and as big as the universe. This is a choice we can make when we understand our Four Characters.

I remain eternally grateful that I loved so deeply that I can be so miserable (Character 4).

From my heart to yours,
Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor